This is totally cracking me up. I was doing research on dangerous currents in the Seine, and found this in a BBC article about the Seine’s river police:
The Brigade Fluviale know the Seine better than anybody else, particularly its dangerous currents which can suddenly pin a diver to the bottom or sweep them far downstream.
Pascal Jacquin Police diver
For Mr Jacquin, his morning swim is a way of understanding the river and renewing his relationship with it.
“[It's] like communion with the river, she lets me be with her,” he says.
“You have to keep up with the river because it’s what we work with and we need to know what she feels today.
“She’s like a woman, you have to care about her, you have to feed her, you have to touch her – we need to know her mood today.”
That might just be the best thing I’ve read so far this year. And mainly because it reminds me of about 10 French guys off the top of my head. (Including Pepé Le Pew.)